can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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