Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
