He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
