It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
