the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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