we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
