i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
