i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
