i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
