It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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