I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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