areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
