I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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