shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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