There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
