so let's talk penis.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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