He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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