ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
