o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
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