I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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