yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
