i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
