I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
