i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
