We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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