I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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