your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
