guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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