i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
