She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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