New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Mom said you looked used
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
