Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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