Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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