I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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