Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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