My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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