Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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