How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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