this beer tastes like vomit already
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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