Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm too high and old for this...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
