final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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