Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
