he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
