I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize