problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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