It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize