Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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