I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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