5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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