Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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