I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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