I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
