You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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