well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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