So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
