i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She needs sedatives and a leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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