I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
