I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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