How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
