Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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