party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
