I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
