I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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