32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my vagina is haunted
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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