I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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